Today on the Schmuck’s Triple Threat, Dwight King lives with the cookies; on the top shelf. Jennifer Aniston, remember that episode of Friends where she was hot? Finally, racist horses are a real problem in the upper northeast.
Playoff Recap:
NBA
Miami 75, Indianapolis 94
San Antonio 108, L.A. Clippers 92
NHL
Phoenix 1, L.A. Kings 2
Minnesota 4, Detroit 3
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1,622 feet, that’s how far the combined distance of Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton’s four round-trippers traveled Tuesday night according to hittrackeronline.com. Let’s put it in perspective: that’s equal to Hamilton taking his lumber to Cowboy Stadium and swatting the ball back and forth from goal line to goal line 5 and a half times, or 540 yards. Put it this way, Hamilton’s four homers combined drove the green on the Par 5, 15th at Augusta, or “Fire Thorn”, a 530 yard blast from the tournament tees. Even current Masters champ and a long-drive thumper himself Bubba Watson would be impressed.
Clearly Orioles pitchers glanced over the section of the scouting report noting that this Hamilton guy can swing it a little bit, and just happens to be the most locked in hitter in the circuit right now. Over his past two games at Camden Yards Hamilton has launched five bombs, drove in 10 runs and collected six hits (yeah he mixed in a double off the wall). That’s a good month, hell even two months for 
most guys in the power department, and Hamilton has done all of it in 18 short innings. Well, they’ve been long innings for the Baltimore pitching staff. Memo to Orioles pitchers aka Jugs machines, batting practice ends at 615 when they roll the cage and L-screen off the field. And when your pitching coach encourages you to challenge the hitters and “see how far they can hit it,” think twice next time #32 climbs into the box.
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Cole Hamels received all the punishment he deserves for plunking Bryce Harper last night when he himself wore one. The suspension is a joke. Hamels admitting what he did wasn’t the smartest thing in the world, but getting hit is part of baseball. Throwing at rookies is part of baseball. The “Welcome to the Big Leagues” plunking is customary. Anyone who has a problem with it does not know baseball, period.
When it comes to dotting someone the Hamels/Harper incident could be a how to video. Harper got hit at the bottom of his number, in the back. I’d put money down that Hamels was aiming for his ass and just missed up by a couple inches. There was absolutely nothing malicious about that pitch. Cole Hamels wasn’t trying to hurt Harper, he was just trying to send a message that despite his early success, Harper is still the new guy and has to earn his stripes. The fact that Harper went first to third on a single immediately after being hit, and then stole home speaks to how badly he was affected by the plunking. 
Give home plate umpire Andy Fletcher credit for how he handled the situation too. Harper got his and then Hamels got his. Instead of flying off and just tossing guys, Fletcher made sure the issue was put to bed after the retaliation with a stern warning to each dugout. NFL and NBA referees could take a few notes from Andy Fletcher.
Mike Rizzo should do everyone a favor and shut it. Stay up there in his Ivory tower and just let the athletes be athletes. Hitting Harper wasn’t about being tough, it was about knocking a guy down a notch. It was baseball Mike, nothing else. I shouldn’t even be writing this article, this whole issue should be a non-issue. I’m sure it already is for Hamels and Harper.
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